september reflections

 I cannot believe it's already October. Like what do you mean we only have a few more months before the new year? So much has already happened this year, who knows what will happen in November and December? And I know that 2027 will be just as relentless, if not more. 

 Speaking of time, I've been significantly more conscious about how I am choosing to spend mine. My mentor at work is always saying, "Your time is valuable. Even more so now that you're a PA." This, combined with my recent reflections on my social media usage, has resulted in me looking at the clock very often. I think this is also in part due to my phone pick-up habit. I have since relocated an old alarm clock to my desk so I can simply look up. But this past week I had a realization while I was reading Crooked Kingdom. 

 Time seems to slow down when I am reading. It could just be that I am a relatively fast reader, my friends from grad school will tell you so, but I like to think that just the act of reading slows my brain down. When I'm reading, I'm focusing on what is happening in the book. I am in control.

Compare it to the slip n' slide that is scrolling on social media, I sometimes feel like I'm flailing wildly, barely holding onto a sense of time and self and purpose. I log onto social media, and the next thing I know it's time to feed my cats.

The point here, is that this is time I'm enjoying for myself. I'm not making myself sick with anxiety and FOMO by scrolling through whatever feed I choose to pull up for the day. I'm not mindlessly inoculating myself to buy more things to get closer to whatever distant ideal identity I've chosen for myself. I'm not giving my time, my self, to the attention economy. 

Rather, I am consciously choosing what to do with my time.  

Shout out to my journal for being there for me to record my thoughts in. Midori MD makes some truly amazing stuff.

☀☀☀

 Books I Finished in September:

  1. Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo
  2. Chateau Reverie by Natasha Siegel (ARC)
  3. Should I Say Something by Vanessa Bohns (ARC)
  4. Your Beloved Remains by Quinn Connor (ARC)

Books I Intend to Finish in October: 

  1. Fairy Court Dragon Sex Magic by Evan Pickering 
  2. Hemlock & Silver by T Kingfisher 
  3. Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo 

Books I Hope to Start in October:

  1. Hell Bent by Leigh Bardugo 
  2. Hamlet & Juliet by Clare Edge (ARC)
  3. Wolf Worm by T Kingfisher 

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